Best pick-up line for a math nerd:

"Let me be your derivative so I can be tangent to your curves"

Sexist? Yes! Funny? Hilarious!

My latest comeback to kids who want to turn in a late HW:

"What the fu....nction?"

OK, done thread hi-jacking

Thanks again, all in SNWMF management!

Jah Son]]>

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**J_72**

Right on Jah Son. I am applying for the AP US History reading next year. Have fun!

Jeff

Right on Jah Son. I am applying for the AP US History reading next year. Have fun!

Jeff

I believe it is much easier to get an AP History reader gig than in Math. I was on a waiting list for 3 years, and got selected in the 3rd round this year. A colleague in History was selected the first year she applied.

Good luck!

Jah Son]]>

According law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.]]>

Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

A: Because you can't drink and derive...

Q: Why won't Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?

A: Itâ€™s too cubed.

Q: What's the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?

A: A natural log cabin!

Q: What is the first derivative of a cow?

A: Prime Rib!

Q: What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?

A: Zero.

Q: Why?

A: Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!

Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?

A: "I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."

Q: What does the Ph.D. in math with a job say to the Ph.D. in math without a job?

A: "Paper or plastic?"

Q: What is polite and works for the phone company?

A: A deferential operator.

Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

A: An Algorithm

Q: Why was the parent function upset with its child?

A: It was stretched to its limit.

Q: What is purple and commutative?

A: An abelian grape

Q: Did you hear the one about the statistician?

A: Probably

Q: What wild animal is good at calculus?

A: The tangent lion (or a tangent)

Q: What is a proof?

A: One-half percent of alcohol.

Q: Why is a calculus book always unhappy?

A: Because it always has lots of problems.

Q: Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?

A: He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.

Q: Why was the function so bent out of shape?

A: Its regression model was too tight a fit.

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?

A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

Q: What did one calculus book say to the other?

A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!

Q: What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice.

A: Zorn's Lemon.

Q: Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?

A: They were investigating projectile lotion.

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra.

A: Elephant zebra sin theta.

Q: Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?

A: That's the Law of Spline Demand.]]>

Jeff]]>

Then just this week I found out I'd been selected by the Educational Testing Service (ETS) to be an AP Calculus Reader. That means they will fly me to Kansas City (and back to Guam) for a June 10-17 session where for 8 hours a day, 7 days in a row, I will grade AP Calculus exams. Fun, huh? Actually it's a great gig, flight is paid for, hotel is paid for, 3 meals a day are paid for, and there's enough of an additional stipend to pay for my flight to SNWMF in 2014.

Had a bit of a panic when the fine print of the contract said my flight would not allow for any layovers going and returning. Did a quick flight check which showed there was no way I could leave KC on the final date, return to Guam, and then catch my flight from Guam to SFO. Blood pressure went up and there was some furious scrambling and pleading, before ETS decided to grant me a flight exemption, and things are now all good.

So.....Scotti B....gonna be in your neck of the woods June 10-17. Can you get in touch and let me know wha a gwaan in KC during that time? Would love to hook up and see some local shows with you and the lovely wife. Not sure yet which hotel ETS will put me in, but will let you know.

Ever forward

Jah Son]]>

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Thank you SNWMF for putting together such an amazing group of artists for your 20th Anniversary

Be well,

eric v]]>

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So excited.:)-D]]>

looking at all these names has me thinking...... not that they would need to announce it, but how cool would it be to have some artists blessing up the mic inna dancehall..... just think of the matchups you could have....

shaka X max romeo downbeat X gappy ranks comanche X u-roy stone love X damian marley + gyc

i know.... "scheduling, coordinating, additional expenses, contracts, certain reasons, etc................... "

but i still think it would be cool to see them in the environment they developed their craft, inna rub-a-dub stylee........

it's my dream every year. some years it has come true. we'll see if this is one of them...... B)-

big up to W&G for putting together another amazing year!]]>

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**spliffp**

Yep....Was so surprised to see the new additions, I was content with the lineup prior to today. Should be the best of my 14 year reggae festival experience.

Give thanks!!!

Yep....Was so surprised to see the new additions, I was content with the lineup prior to today. Should be the best of my 14 year reggae festival experience.

Give thanks!!!

Haha - me too! I thought we were full up! Surprises like this I can handle... :)]]>

Give thanks!!!]]>