OT: Pope Benedict Says He Will Retire from Hip Hop Career

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- Pope Benedict XVI announced Monday he would retire from his music career effective February 28th because he is simply too old to carry on. Following is the text of his announcement, delivered to members of the Vatican Vybez Crew gathered for a ceremony to name three new saints.


"Dear Brothers,

I have convoked you to this Consistory, not only for the three canonizations, but also to communicate to you a decision of great importance for the life of the the Vatican Vybez.

After having repeatedly examined my conscience before God and taken a look at my mad skrilla I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age and way too much thizz, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the the proper Vybez.

I am well aware that this ministry, due to its essential spiritual nature as well as ability to stay up late at night ghostriding the whip, must be carried out not only with words and deeds, but no less with prayer and suffering. Do you all realize how hard it is for a 90 year old man to ghostride?

However, in today's world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to govern the barque of Saint Peter, proclaim the Gospel, and keep pumping out phat beats despites all the haters, both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months, has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognise my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me

For this reason, and well aware of the seriousness of this act, with full freedom I declare that I renounce the ministry of Bishop of Rome, the position of (t)Hizz Holiness, and all claims of authority within the Vatican Vybez Entertainment company. Though a successor has yet to be chosen, I trust one of my longtime staff will Ghostride into the job with ease. I'd like to thank those who have upheld the vibez over the years including my longtime manager Dregos, publicist Danielle, former collaborators such as E-40 and Vybz Kartel (FREE WORLD BOSS! Awoah), and newcomers to the crew like my homie R-Money. To Tahoearmada - I apologize for that time my crew kidnapped you a few years back. My bad dawg.

With regard to myself, I've decided to make a trip to Boonville, CA in June and just chill out for once in my life. Ya'll have no idea how stoked I am on this lineup. My Gangsta days are over but I love me some real reggae music. Peace out yo"

Now now James---you'd turn up yuh nose @ anyone writing satirical bizness regarding your belief system; you'd be talking about 'religious intolerance' if someone was running jokes on Mecca's top imams.

I thought Fela nailed it in one of his songs when talking 'bout religious colonizers from Christianity & Islam in Nigeria. Certainly The Church Of Rome shall soon be sending those'baffling smoke signals'....

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papa ray
Now now James---you'd turn up yuh nose @ anyone writing satirical bizness regarding your belief system; you'd be talking about 'religious intolerance' if someone was running jokes on Mecca's top imams.

I thought Fela nailed it in one of his songs when talking 'bout religious colonizers from Christianity & Islam in Nigeria. Certainly The Church Of Rome shall soon be sending those'baffling smoke signals'....

I'm generally ok with making fun of individuals. In my own humor I simply avoid making fun of religious belief systems as well as people's prophets and gods. I also tend to stay away from mean-spirited jokes (i.e I won't joke about certain scandals the catholic church is involved in). But I believe the pope, individual imams, lecturers, etc... are fair game as long as the jokes aren't outright slanderous.

For what it's worth, I find my jokes about Mr. Ratiznger to be in pretty decent taste, primarily portraying him as a guy who's just trying to be hip with today's trends. If anyone feels I'm making jokes about catholicism or christianity as a whole that is certainly not my intent.

this just out....the new pope is alliance affiliated......bounty killer stopped beating his lady just long enough to claim credit for the cardinals career....ninja man says he has the revealing video to prove it.....expensive watches and backstage passes smoothed over US immigration.....ras smoka is in charge of releasing a huge plume of smoke in vatican city(not a problem)......L.A. Lewis will be in charge of the wardrobe......blakka kartel is hothead over it.......free world boss!!!!!.....we want proof of life or all negotiations shall cease.......awhoah!!!!

Can't we all just get along?

Say it ain't so!! Ach, I feel like most stand-up comedians did when GW Bush left orafice -- sad to see all that unmined material leave social relavence. The world turns and so it goes.

Time to get stupid, (T)Hizz Holiness.

(This is the end of a 10-year running gag that first started on the old ROTR forum.)

Do not despair Walter - a new poop will be elected who will no doubt be
White
Old as the hills
A defender of pedophiles
A flat-earther
Against any and all women's rights

AS an added bonus - the new poop COULD be
An ex-nazi



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2013 08:31AM by mulligan.

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Walter
(This is the end of a 10-year running gag that first started on the old ROTR forum.)

or is it?!

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FullWatts on your stereo...™

we aint done yet... not by a long shot!

Dude better be careful inna BoomVille...