OT: Former Pope Benedict Denounces Replacement
December 24, 2013 06:08AM
VATICAN CITY (AP) -- Bene-Lion, formerly known as Pope Benedict, has recently come out in interviews declaring his replacement Pope Francis and claiming he is unfit to run the Vatican Vybz Camp.

"As you all know, earlier this year I decided to retire from The Camp in order to focus on recording my new roots album 'Re-Excommunicated'. When my replacement was chosen, I was hoping the Vybz would be kept strong. That said, I have been completley dissapointed with that no-good hippy Pope Francis. First he fired my entire crew, and there hasn't been a ghostride through Vatican City since I left. And let's not even get started on how he cancelled my long-standing Vatican Vybz Passa Passa I used to hold every wednesday... CHA"

The former pope/dancehall deejay/gangsta rapper went on to address a long series of grievences in his letter, including the fact that Pope Francis has supposedly failed to live up to his promise to "Free World Boss!"

"Futhermore, Francis promised me that Addi woulda touch road by Sting this year. Don't get me wrong, Super Cat a di dada, but for all the money I spent on flights to JA for me and my crew this year - it's hella lame that Teacha still locked up. GAZA MI SEH!"

When reached for comment, Pope Francis would only state: "While I understand my predecessor's worries, my top priority is throwing a Grateful Dead concert in Rome on Christmas day. Dancehall is just too mean spirited"
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