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A couple of laughs for everyone

Posted by fourtwentyplenty 
A couple of laughs for everyone
February 15, 2006 05:54PM

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium."

Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Bushcronium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it omes into contact. A minute amount of Bushcronium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Bushcronium has a normal half-life of multiples of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element which radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

Author unknown

Re: A couple of laughs for everyone
February 15, 2006 05:55PM
Pharmacology Update

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a
generic name. For example the generic name of Tylenol is
acetaminophen. Aleve is known as naproxen. Amoxil is amoxicillin
and Advil is ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name
for Viagra. After consideration by a team of government experts, it
recently announce it has settled on the generic name of
mycoxafloppin. Also considered were mycoxafallin, mydixadrupin,
mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix, and of course, ibepokin. Pfizer
Corp. is making an announcement today that Viagra will soon be
available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a
power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. Pepsi's proposed ad
campaign claims it will now be possible for a man to, literally,
pour himself a stiff one. Obviously, we can no longer call this a
soft drink. This additive gives new meaning to the names of
cocktails, highballs and just a good old-fashioned stiff drink.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of Mount & Do.

Re: A couple of laughs for everyone
February 15, 2006 06:06PM
Thats hilarious 420. Keep em cummin........................................ROB
Re: A couple of laughs for everyone
February 15, 2006 06:08PM
Hope nobody gets offended, just trying to lighten the day for all those working folks checking the board.

Re: A couple of laughs for everyone
February 15, 2006 09:05PM
Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.

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