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Happy St. Patricks Day

Posted by Dubguy 
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Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 06:40PM
A bit off topic, but I care not a wink. Enjoy a pint with the smell of corned beef in the air, and above all - smile.

Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 07:03PM
I'll pass onna pint AND 'specially da smell a cornd beef, but as I am of Irish descent, I accept ya cheerful tidings... an I be smilin'!!!!

blessid love
ras danny
higher reasoning reggae time
KBOO Portland, Full Strength Community Radio
*Love is a net that catches hearts like fish.*
-Muhammad Ali
*I don't like reggae, I love it*
Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 07:25PM
My "GREEN" is a useful and tasty accesory today, as opposed to something I wear.
Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 07:28PM
Irish I's are smiling now.... =D
Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 07:34PM
Pass the corned beef and anything green and leafy........and then more corned beef. It's a glutonous cycle.

Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 07:34PM
Kiss me, I'm Irie!
Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 07:59PM
A little humor o' the day...

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important
Meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a
Parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and
Give up me Irish Whiskey".

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop
On a busy street crossing.

The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then
He'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy
Still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over
To him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the
Obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an
Empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff
One - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken $#!+!!"
Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 08:03PM

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya little bastard! Spit it out!"


Irish Cemetery:
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died."
Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be
"What was his name?" asks Paddy.
Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."


Irish Miracle:
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."


Irish Accident:
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Seamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, no Brenda ... no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee."


Irish Predicament:
Drunk, Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the Ole just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either.


Irish Last Request:
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'

Erin Go Bragh to all y'all!
Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 08:05PM
I like dem Herb, giv thanx fi a good laff!!!

an bee, too, nice ones, tho I've seen a few b4...

Post Edited (03-17-06 12:48)

blessid love
ras danny
higher reasoning reggae time
KBOO Portland, Full Strength Community Radio
*Love is a net that catches hearts like fish.*
-Muhammad Ali
*I don't like reggae, I love it*
Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 17, 2006 08:06PM
Just another excuse to drink Guinness...

Re: Happy St. Patricks Day
March 18, 2006 01:51AM
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies

"Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."